@TravLeBlanc: I wanna write a tweet that is so good that I can retire and just live off the retweets for the rest of my life.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@SirEviscerate: I take off my blindfold. Before me is a gory tableau of death and destruction, bodies strewn across the landscape. The piñata is unscathed.
@InternetHippo: JESUS: I am the way, the truth, and the life ME: This guy is definitely an only child
@mindintheshadow: I should probably eat this entire bag of Oreos tonight since they're going to expire in 2017.