@TravLeBlanc: I wanna write a tweet that is so good that I can retire and just live off the retweets for the rest of my life.
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@TheAlexNevil: Based on the musicians who thanked him at the Grammys, I gotta say: I'm not crazy for God's taste in music.
@TheDreamGhoul: "you're breaking up with me, here? and now?!" "it's just not working out" *both continue pedaling tandem bicycle in silence*
@Beerhaze: Doing the splits is easy -- slip on the first snowy step when taking the dog out and let gravity (and panic) make you an Olympic gymnast!