@ShortWhiteNUgly: I want a girl who asks me to do things that I have to Google.
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@TitansHomer: I'm the guy at the gym laying face down on the treadmill telling everyone "I'm ok, I'm ok"
@KentWGraham: I used to love pretending I was Captain America and flinging a garbage can lid at kids in the neighborhood. But then my wife made me stop.
@13spencer: Katy Perry says that god spoke to her before the Super Bowl and said “you got this,” so it’s safe to say that god has crappy taste in music.