@ShortWhiteNUgly: I want a girl who asks me to do things that I have to Google.
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@Tinkerbell_: If simply wrinkling my nose at your smell is politer than spraying you head to foot with Febreze then so be it. Not happy but so be it.
@UnFitz: *goes swimming in Australia* *is attacked by sharks* *crawls gasping onto deserted beach* *thanks god* *is promptly eaten by crocodiles*
@WheelTod: [To Police Sketch Artist] Me: “Black female... 5'3ish... Brunette... Curvy but not fat. Athletic, I guess... Good sense of humor... No kids — no divorcees either. Umm.. Must like dogs?...” Sketch Artist:... Me: “Why have you stopped drawing?”
@brycoo: [HR office] Do you know why we called you in today? To give me a pay rise? No. Because I googled 'How to burn down office' 600 times? Yes.