@ShortWhiteNUgly: I want a girl who asks me to do things that I have to Google.
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@lalastrailer: I spent the whole day cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean trying to find out where my son hides his weed.
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: What sound do dogs make? 3-year-old: Woof woof. Me: Horses? 3: Neigh. Me: Pigs? 3: Sizzle sizzle. Somebody understands bacon.
@myonlymizztake: Note to self: Used VHS tapes do not make good emergency gifts, always go with stuff from the freezer.
@meganamram: Starbucks coffee is disgusting. First of all it tastes like soap, second of all u have to get it from dispensers in the BATHROOM????