@LagunaBeachPOV: I want a name that can only be written using straight lines, so I'll be changing my name to Wilx Kivz.
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@slyoung5: A smile every mile will get you further faster but if that doesn't work, carjacking does.
@MarfSalvador: GF: *vomiting in sink* Ugh morning sickness Me: Wait. . . wh-what? GF: I'm pregnant Me: Woah, slow down. Why did you call me sickness?
@5exyunchained: A month ago I gave my number to this beautiful girl. She said "I will text you when I get home". I think she's homeless.
@vikkaroni: My nose won't stop running. But, to be fair, it's the only part of my body that's still in shape.