@bleustreak: I want a polka band at my funeral. I'm the one who's dead, let 'em suffer.
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@TomDaddario: My wife's favorite position was cat style. She'd sit 3 feet away from me. No matter how many times I called her, she wouldn't come near me
@notfolu: I had to delete Facebook because I liked too many pictures of dogs yesterday and now the newsfeed algorithm thinks I care about those people
@Sassafrantz: Do you, Charles Manson, take this woman who is clearly more insane than you to be your lawful wedded wife?