@TheBoydP: Not to brag but my wife just mentioned fireworks in the bedroom to me. She wants me to keep them somewhere else until the 4th but still...
@JamesHavoc: Sometimes I think we are capable of great things as a species, but then I notice how many people can't put their shopping cart away.
@k_lli: If you capitalize 'him' in your tweets I'm gonna automatically assume you're subtweeting god.
@AZHORSEMOM77: I act really tough for a person who spent $40 on cookies I dont like because a girl scout was crying
@Brampersandon_: INTERVIEWER: what do you consider your greatest strength
ME: ...
INTERVIEWER: ...
ME (38 minutes later): I'd say promptness
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