@colonel_trilL: Soldier Dying on Omaha Beach. "dont forget to tell my wife i love her... and...and...honor me every year with a .....mattress sale."

@WetzelGeek: My wife wants me to take a walk with her today. I'll be on a short leash though so I won't run off into the woods like last time.

@PortRooster: "I'm a hoarse whisperer..." - Batman

@samalmightysam: While you're thinking what to wear, I'm thinking how to take it off.

@Prof_Peejay: Students, unfollow me now. Tonight's drunk subtweets might sting a little. Especially you Britney. Your lab report was a pile of dog shit.