@CarolineCasey: I want a sandwich in the streets and a sandwich in the sheets.
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@xnoahanthonyx: Can you describe the man who did this *me crying* "he was a meanie head" No describe his face, sir *clenches fist* "He had a stupid face"
@Cheeseboy22: I keep seeing studies finding fecal matter on things. Anyone considered that perhaps it's the scientists that aren't washing their hands?
@cheeky__gal: I think my cats hate people as much as I do. Every time the doorbell rings, they hide under the bed with me.
@BoogTweets: *Full parking lot* Me: IF THERE IS A GOD, FIND ME A SPOT AND I WILL BECOME RELIGIOUS! *spot opens up* Me: NEVER MIND, I FOUND ONE!