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@LongLiveJesse: I want a sex change.
From "none" to "some".
@Dr_powpow: Well, well, well, if it isn't my inability to cope with life.
@fred_dog: I think my neighbor's dog is in heat. She's been crying the last 2 nights. I may need to take one for the team if I want to get some sleep.
@MikeHeraly: Hey "greatest generation" why is every thrift store filled with ceramic clowns
@BradBroaddus: My rear view mirror broke off. No biggie, I'll just put one of my contact lenses in backwards.
@ValeeGrrl: Why is my kitchen floor so gross I just mopped like 3 months ago.