@tehaveragejoel: I want a Times New Roman on the streets and a Wingdings in the sheets.
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@freshestginger: If I got a boyfriend I wouldn't know what to do... What do they eat? How often do they need to be walked? Can they be house trained?
@djdarrellripley: Me: I have to go to a funeral. Her: Oh, I'm so sorry. Who died? Me: One of my clients... It's a business funeral, not a pleasure funeral.
@jonnysun: opening a deli called "Work" a steakhouse caled "The Gym" adn a fried chicken place caled "A Funeral" for ppl who like to eat & need excuses
@ItsAndyRyan: My printer: Sorry, can't print this out – I'm very low on magenta ink Me: But I'm literally printing black text – there's no red in it My printer: Feed me magenta or you get nothing