@pakalupapito: i want all the extra fat on my body to fall off and turn into $65,000 cash
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@TheToddWilliams: [beach] ME: Sure is beautiful here HORSE: Yup ME: Lovely sunset too HORSE: Uh huh ME: So...You want a drink? HORSE: Nice try
@brycetache: Yesterday I asked my 12-year-old son what other kids at school think about him having 2 dads. His response: They don’t care but they don’t like how I’m immune to “Yo Mama” jokes.
@Supafunkadunka: If your cat brings home a dead bird and presents it to you, don't be rude. Take a little bite.
@liveluvlaugh65: Women are like angels, and when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly....... on a broomstick, we're flexible like that