@pakalupapito: i want all the extra fat on my body to fall off and turn into cash
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@Ideal_Victoria: I’m at a stage in my life where I know I should workout and eat healthy, but swallowing a tapeworm seems easier.
@EricBedner: "Bye, losers." *puts on motorcycle helmet and sunglasses* *rides unicycle into an elevator* "Can you push the button for the lobby please."
@ImAlexOliver: Just installed an egg cannon on the hood of my car. Flipping people off and cursing at them just doesn't satisfy me anymore.