@bobbiejo448: I want minions for Christmas.
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@matthandlersux: a gaggle of geese, a murder of crows, a genocide of seagulls, a holocaust of toucans
@Playing_Dad: If a pregnant friend tells you what the kid's name will be just whisper "AND THE DARK LORD'S PROPHECY WILL BE FULFILLED." They love that.
@Donna_McCoy: Wish I had the unbridled enthusiasm of a freshly groomed dog heading straight for a mud puddle.
@BYGH: My Diaper Genie grants wishes, as long as you wish for a 40 pound bag of baby shit every week.