@DirtyMelodies: I want my boyfriend to get a tattoo on his neck so I won't have to worry about him getting a job and not having time to hang out with me.
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@QwertyJones3: Um, doctor? This degree on your wall is from Whatsamatta U. I don't think that's a... Doctor: *looking at x-rays* MY GOD! YOU HAVE NO SKIN!
@OhNoSheTwitnt: News: Hillary won the debate! My friends: Bernie won the debate! Trump: I won the debate! Huckabee: Asian people eat dogs!
@ibid78: [goes back in time to murder baby Hitler] wow long line of people here to kill him [goes back to murder myself] how is this line even longer