@TheTweetOfGod: "I want my country back" is a fair and accurate thing to say if at one point in your life you owned the country.
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@BestWorstAdvice: If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't comeback, tell everyone she has herpes.
@better_off_dad: Me: Bless me Father for I have sinned. Priest: How long since your last confession, my son? Me: About 45 minutes.
@myonlymizztake: When a CW is coming out of the men's room as I walk past, I always ask if everything went well because that's the polite thing to do.
@PFitzpa: Please do not return empty candy wrappers to the dish. It leads to false expectations and uncontrollable rage.