@DepecheALAmode: I want my funeral to be sad and completely serious. Then right when my coffin starts lowering into the ground the song from Tetris plays.
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@CornOnTheGoblin: scientist: he's going to be identical to you in every way me: every way? [my clone trips stepping out of the machine] holy shit
@rickkondell: Apparently, if you stop to help an armored truck broke down on the side road, they'll mace and taser you. In that order.
@fro_vo: Me: can I wish for more wishes Genie: no Me: i wish for $20 then Genie: granted Me: *slides $20 across table* how about those wishes now
@Mr_Kapowski: Me: Can I bring my wife? Travel Agent: Of course Me: But I'm hetero. Does that matter? Travel Agent: Do you think I'm saying Gayman Islands?