@NYC_Blonde: I want my headstone to read "loving wife, evil dictator".
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Sickayduh: [woman on death row] "Your last meal?" - I don't care. You pick. "Fish?" - Gross no "Steak?" - No. Anything is fine tho. "Pasta?" - Ew carbs
@weinerdog4life: The elites don’t want you to know this but the ducks at the park are free you can take them home I have 458 ducks
@ericsshadow: What kind of deranged lunatic gets home from a long night at the bar and eats a piece of fruit?
@TheMichaelRock: Coworker: What did you do on vacation? Me: Didn't come to work. Coworker: I know that! Me: Good. Glad you understand how vacations work.