@Breadery: I want my hearse to have 'JUST DIED' written on the windshield with cans tied to the rear bumper.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@aveuaskew: "Your resume has MPGMA listed under hobbies. What exactly is that?" Making people guess the meaning of acronyms.
@OleThickHawk: My wife came into my room at the ER and started unplugging stuff and flipping switches until she realized that I had just sprained my ankle.
@fordm: BRUCE WAYNE: How can I rid this city of crime ALFRED: Mental health care access, economic development, gun reg— BRUCE: Bring me a cape
@TheGayFlash: I love how people say they're "expecting" a baby, as though it might be something else, like a penguin or a lawnmower.