@Breadery: I want my hearse to have 'JUST DIED' written on the windshield with cans tied to the rear bumper.
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@SteveSuckington: Me: "people always think I'm gay! Do I put off a gay vibe?" Guy whose back I'm massaging in a bubble bath: "maybe a little"
@cravin4: I once had sex while drinking a beer and didn't spill a drop. I only wish there was someone else there to witness it.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: This creepy guy at work calls me "hun" despite knowing my real name so I've started calling him Mulan.