@Breadery: I want my hearse to have 'JUST DIED' written on the windshield with cans tied to the rear bumper.
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@Gre_Gone: *horse walks into a bar* *horse walks into a bar* *horse walks into a bar* *horse walks into an optometrist* Horse: Holy shit please help me
@ShitJokes: My friend keeps saying, "cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water." I know he means well.
@rickkondell: Things that don't kill bees: 1. Furniture polish 2. Febreeze 3. Butter 4. Screaming
@TawaNicolas: I lost one of mom's Tupperware at work and now I'm looking for a new family to adopt me.