@Breadery: I want my hearse to have 'JUST DIED' written on the windshield with cans tied to the rear bumper.
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@CopBroughtPizza: i'm reading this thesaurus. it's really interesting, or should i say... very interesting.
@JohnLyonTweets: I hate it when I try to impress a date by taking her to a nice restaurant and she orders something that isn't on my coupon.
@CineRobert: "Waaaah, my boyfriend is a jerk, but I'm gonna tell twitter instead of him because I have the communication skills of a sea anemone."