@samalmightysam: I want my marriage to be a forever one night stand, laughing and joking, beer drinking, dancing, pizza in bed kinda relationship.
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@RickAaron: I had a fountain drink at the mall today. All those pennies make the water taste terrible.
@mdob11: Me: [crying so hard I can't breathe] why Waiter: [returning my plate] sorry, I thought you were done
@theshamingofjay: A threesome? Nah not for me. If I wanted to horribly disappoint two other people I'd go out to dinner with my parents