@samalmightysam: I want my marriage to be a forever one night stand, laughing and joking, beer drinking, dancing, pizza in bed kinda relationship.
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@LurkAtHomeMom: 3: *throws plate in sink Me: but you barely ate! 3: yeah, I'm full...what are you eating? Me: the same thing you had 3: can I have a bite?
@briangaar: Mitt Romney has decided not to run for president. In other news, I have decided not to become a billionaire or play in the NBA.
@Midgetspar: Stole my neighbors family portrait & got it tattooed on my back. Now I'm standing in their living room facing the wall 2 see if they notice.
@DaddyBeerGuy: Wife-CAN YOU CLEAN UP? Me-*Quietly mutters- I don't work for you! 3-*runs out of room yelling- DADDY SAYS HE DOESN'T WORK FOR YOU!