@HelloCullen: I want my tombstone to just say "You should see the other guy" on it
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@meganamram: party idea: "DUI or IUD?" u can only invite people who have one or both and u CAN'T divulge which
@CrazyExhaustion: 5yo: What's a cannibal? Me: A person that eats another person. 5yo's eyes widen in horror. Me: You said cannonball, didn't ya?
@SCbchbum: Before sprinting towards the elevator, ask yourself, “Am I hot enough to make them hold the door?”