@myonlymizztake: I want negative calorie credit for all the junk food I pass up. Didn't eat that cookie? That's -150 calories.
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@jonnysun: JESUS: everyone loves me GABRIEL: wat about judas GOD: o snap JESUS: dad GOD: u've just been… JESUS: dont do this GOD: TOUCHÉD BY AN ANGEL
@noog: Squirrels run around like they're being chased. Nobody cares about you. You live in tree. Get a job
@adamlucidi: All my exes are engaged, married, and/or have kids. I'm single. As far as I'm concerned, I've won.
@SCbchbum: Before you decide to tell a woman she should go get herself “dolled up,” remember, Annabelle & Chucky are dolls.