@KentWGraham: I want to be a dog and have someone feed me treats for sitting down.
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@stacieooooo: You'd think a baby would make the perfect paperweight, but this one keeps rolling off my desk.
@OmarImranTweets: 13 year old girls be like "I need a man who.. " Lol the only Man in your life should be Spongebob. Yallah go finish your homework.
@LegoGodzilla: [first date] GIRL: When you said "fitness freak" in your profile, this isn't what I expected HALF-MAN/HALF-TREADMILL: It was an old photo