@KentWGraham: I want to be a dog and have someone feed me treats for sitting down.
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@weenbeans: me: "okay I might as well just say it..I love you" girl dinosaur: "omg u have no idea how long I've waited for u to say that!" *meteorite*
@lazerdoov: Dr. says I have an enlarged heart thanks doc I already know I'm super nice just trying to figure out why I can't breathe when I eat chips
@GroperCleveland: Apple CEO Tim Cook has come out as gay. This totally explains why the new iPhone charger holes became tighter after Steve Jobs died.