@PlainTravis: I want to be a pilot, but mostly so I'd have an excuse to tell passengers, "Where we're going, we don't need roads."
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@michowl: I get in this weird mood where I don’t want to talk to anybody and just want to be left alone. I call this mood ‘Awake’
@Sean_Burgundy_: Loan shark: If you're late my guys will ... Me: Tell my gf my phone password? LS: Break every bone in your body M: Oh. Yeah that's fine
@ElgatoEsmio: Mom said angels are watching over me I'm just afraid they're taking notes to make sure I go to hell.