@blade_funner: I want to be the person in every McDonald's whose job is to sit on the sandwiches just before they go into the bag.
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@elonmusk: The rumor that I’m secretly creating a zombie apocalypse to generate demand for flamethrowers is completely false
@tsm560: I just might be the best thing that’s ever happened to you. Providing everything that’s happened to you thus far has been really really bad.
@YoungNobler: This ATM will not give me free money no matter how many times I try the Konami Code.
@Nyx422: My son begged me not to wear my Poison shirt & spandex to get him on the bus again. So I wore an adult onesie. Guess I won this round.