@runningmascara6: I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile, then walk into a pole..
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@FSUSteve: Just because a guy wants to see you naked it doesn't mean anything, I know a guy who drove 2 days to see a donkey show.
@YoungNobler: New Facebook technology can identify faces with 97.25% accuracy, and then ask you if you want to tag that statue in the background.
@JUSTLisandra: My ex is coming to town tomorrow so I have to lose fifty pounds by morning.
@ojedge: [red carpet] "So Ryan, who are u with tonight?" Ryan Gosling [proudly] "My parents" [two geese in black tie nervously shuffle to his side]
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