@Eightinchgoat: Worst things about mid 40's:
1. Catching a view of yourself naked in the mirror.
2. Crying too hard to complete this list.
@panmidwest: ANGEL: the humans need a model for how they should treat you…
GOD: [creates dog]
ANGEL: …and for how they actually do
GOD: [creates cat]
@DominicStraw: Barber: What would you like today?
Me: Make me look attractive.
Barber: CAROL! CANCEL ALL MY APPOINTMENTS!
@jtswhipped: You know what I love about having kids? Not having them.
@daemonic3: You hang up
"No, you hang up"
You hang up first!
- Bats going to bed
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