@SamGrittner: I want to become a librarian so bad. I love books but I love telling people to shut up even more.
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@tlcprincess: Man reading a book: hot Man with a baby: hot Man reading a book to a baby: hold me back my ovaries have exploded.
@Dutch_50: Whenever I see a bruise on a banana my first thought is pity, but then I think it probably deserved it because I slipped on a peel once.
@blade_funner: Doctor: You have to stop eating donuts... Me: OK D:...so that I can start the operation. M: [STUFFING DONUT UNDER OXYGEN MASK] For later.
@Papa_Mex: I'm an 'adult', so why do I dance a little and look around nervously when I find a $20 bill in my jeans I didn't know was there...