@SamGrittner: I want to become a librarian so bad. I love books but I love telling people to shut up even more.
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@MatCro: ME: Michaelangelo painted the Sistine Chapel on his back? GF: Yep M: [2 hours later] How did he reach the bit between his shoulders?
@BobTheSuit: Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: Because I'm riding a Big Wheel on the freeway? Officer: A STOLEN BIG WHEEL
@Prero22: I have a splitting headache today. Voldemort must be back from the dead and attempting to kill me.
@Book_Krazy: Me: you can't just be pretty. You have to be smart too! 8: But mom, you're pretty. Me: Awe thank......wait what?