@girlontapas: I want to believe in hope as much as someone who thinks that somebody might buy their old used shoes on Craigslist for $20.
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@RastaHipsta: Mission Impossible? He's done four of them now. Let's call it "Mission Pretty Hard but Ultimately Doable"
@ingmarbirdman: If you're literally asking me to choose between our relationship and my obsession with pointing out doors to people, well, there's the door.
@BrosConfessions: "As a student the most comforting words you'll ever hear are " I haven't started either"
@Reverend_Scott: "Hi, I'm calling for info on your bicycle on Craigslist." It's heavy, brown, has new shoes, and loves carrots. It's definitely not a horse.