@girlontapas: I want to believe in hope as much as someone who thinks that somebody might buy their old used shoes on Craigslist for $20.
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@maxlavergne: TIP: if ur worried about the airworthiness of the plane you're on offer it a chip. If it eats it you're on a seagull. Disembark immediately
@brakco: I thought I just had a bad headache but according to WebMD I'm a conjoined twin slowly dying from jaundice.
@simoncholland: Let's get married and have kids so instead of doing fun stuff on the weekend we can go to a kid's birthday party where everyone coughs.
@TheBoydP: Today is national pet day. There is no touching of people in national pet day. I know this now.