@nerdamage: I want to cover you in expensive things like gasoline.
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@DanMentos: [first date] *pointing indiscriminately* "uh-oh looks like we're on the Kiss Cam" there's no- *leans in* there's no Kiss Cam at Applebees
@ScottLinnen: Counted five pregnant women at this Noah matinee. Praying their water doesn't break.
@Tw1tter_K1tten: Accidentally drew my eyebrows on too dark and thick and now I live on Sesame Street with Ernie.