@ratamack: I want to date a girl who is willing to solve any disagreements with impromptu light-saber battles.
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@70Ceeks: son is fuming bc his sister is staying home from school AGAIN. he just opened her door and said "and here's the liar in her natural habitat"
@juliussharpe: I root against my college football team. That place put me $80,000 in debt. It'd be like rooting for the bank that holds your mortgage.
@Turbo_Jimmy: Her: that's disgusting Me: sorry, I like to poo with the door open sometimes Her: you shouldn't be pooping in the car at all
@bingowings14: Reduce your kids intake of sugary, fizzy drinks by shaking up the can before handing it to them.