@TheRohiniReddy: I want to have kids before my parents are too old to be able to take care of them.
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@XplodingUnicorn: Me: Check it out! I'm juggling! Wife: Me: Wife: You're supposed to use more than one ball. Me: Can't you just be happy for me?
@noog: [sees girl reading To Kill A Mockingbird] “Ah I love that book. The way he just [clenches fist] kills all those frickin birds.”