@Cali_Kid_Mike: I want to hold you till the end of time, or until I have to pee.
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@SortaBad: "..all the king's horses & all the king's men couldn't get Humpty together again" *raises hand* What guy thought horses might figure it out?
@Tetley6969: At the restaurant I heard a lady say her taco was too salty. My wife had to leap over the table and cover my mouth before I said something.
@sarcasticmommy4: *12 pulls a gray hair out of my head* M: Wow, look at that! 12: Hang on. There's A LOT more! M: 12: Can I get paid for pulling these out?