@ashleyaustrew: I want to know what love is. I want you to show me. No, not you. You. On the left. Other left. No. Jesus Christ, I'll do it myself.
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@BrooksErrDay584: *1st date* [Be cool, just dont let her know youre a 1st generation PS3] So where do y- *internal cooling fan drowns out entire conversation*
@HatfieldAnne: TV chef warns against “over vegetablizing” a sandwich. I lean in closely, hoping he’s also against “under buttering” everything else.
@MannyDiesel: Will smith literally runs in every movie. Name one movie he didn't run in. I'll wait
@Mr_Kapowski: "Get your poop in a group" is a childish way of saying "get your shit together" but I prefer my take of "gather the pieces of your feces"