@ashleyaustrew: I want to know what love is. I want you to show me. No, not you. You. On the left. Other left. No. Jesus Christ, I'll do it myself.
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@MrAaronAbrams: I made fun of a lady swaddling her dog in a blanket and she overheard and turns out it wasn't a dog it was her baby hey have a great Monday.
@whippedjelli: if you wear a bikini instead of a bra you can go out with wet hair & people will just think you've been swimming which is athletic not lazy
@captainkalvis: DATE: I think marriage is sooo beautiful ME: *trying to impress her* well my wedding is tomorrow you should come
@Dawn_M_: It's been four days since I started this rap battle. I'm tired and just want to see my family.