@Home_Halfway: I want to make medical bracelets that say "In case of emergency, delete browser history"
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@Talkbackatme: I just got unfollowed by a woman that just started following me yesterday, so I guess I just had my first one night stand on twitter.
@Reverend_Scott: A dog needs to be the next president. "A dog can't-" When has a dog ever raised taxes or started a war? "I'll start the paperwork."
@chelliet22: Maybe the reason you're not having *sexual intercourse* is because you call it sexual intercourse.
@Reverend_Scott: *rubs lamp* *genie comes out* You get 3 wishes. Just no wishing for more wishes. "I wish for more genies." I SAID NO WI- oooh, you're good.