@daplusk: I want to meet someone who enjoys long walks along the beach, so I have enough time to sit at home alone and tweet
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@TheToddWilliams: [Japan] HEAD SCIENTIST: Hey, what did you guys do with all the nuclear waste? *distant Godzilla noises*
@J_Dazzle76: If I ever go missing and theres a big search party out looking for me, you can save time by not looking at any gyms.
@FuckabillyRex: *skateboarding at 16 I don't care about girls, I'm skating. *skateboarding at 43 I should have had more sex when I was 16.
@crylenol: BAE: come over BATMAN: i'm fighting crime BAE: my parents aren't home BATMAN: *tears up* same