@LindseyEllison2: I want to pick up a hitchhiker before I die. Not like right before I die, but you know.
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@juliussharpe: A lifetime of fire drills has prepared me to completely ignore the alarm during a real fire.
@XplodingUnicorn: [looking at an old pic of me and my wife in college] Me: Wow, you used to be hot Wife: *death glare* Me: ...but not as hot as you are now
@fro_vo: "hey what's that sqiggly thing on the ground?" "i don't know, it looks kinda like a w or m" -- how the worm got its name