@shutupmikeginn: I want to put a 'Honk If You Love Jesus' bumpersticker on a goose
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@ieatanddrink: For animals with an "amazing sense of smell" dogs sure do sniff piles of turds for a long time before realizing "Whoops, these are turds"
@Hurly_Burly: Psychologist: Let's play a word association game. I'll say a word, you say what springs to mind Rainbows Me: I hope my ex dies in a fire.
@meatlobes: *im applying Chapstick and doing curtseys in the mirror* *dad walks past* *dad double takes* *im doing push-ups and drinkin a protein snake*