@shutupmikeginn: I want to put a 'Honk If You Love Jesus' bumpersticker on a goose
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@marcmack: My son called me 'Marc' I said "That's a little presumptuous. Call me Dad" He replied "Now who's being presumptuous?"
@MollySneed: [tv announcer] Are you bloated? Tired? Unable to enjoy the activities you once loved? [me with mouthful of chips] YEAH
@BromanConsul: "You knew what you were getting into, Charlene" "Jim your addiction to long walks on the beach is destroying our marriage" "YOU READ MY BIO"