@NewDadNotes: I want to quit my job but my boss keeps swiping left whenever I tinder my resignation
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@robin_991: The scariest moment in the world is when a 3yo looks at you and says CLOSE YOUR EYES AND OPEN YOUR MOUTH
@JKNenagh: Mom: If all your friends jumped off a cliff would you do it too? Me:If all parents used that same metaphor would you use it too? #slapped
@rickolantern: I wish there was something called the pizza/enchilada/beer diet where you lost weight. Cause I'm on it and that's not what's happening.
@senderblock23: If you love something, let it go. Unless that thing is a cat. Your cat will not come back.