@DaHess1: I want to see a pregnancy test commercial where 2 single people high five the shit out of each other because it's negative.
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@HumbleTeej: I didn't want to be the one to have to do this but I'm not here to make friends and I have to tell the truth: coconut water is disgusting
@causticbob: God said: 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan"
@SamGrittner: Saw a guy with three lip-ring piercings on the subway today. Took everything in my power not to attach a shower curtain.
@MyPornKhan: Sometimes, I look at the kids of today and think, "Thank god I'll be dead by the time you grow up."