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@better_off_dad: ‘I want to see other families.’
~Me, saying grace at Thanksgiving
@behindyourback: If you're afraid of public speaking, just imagine everyone in the audience is on their phones not listening to you anyway.
@GianDoh: I washed my antibiotic pills down with a probiotic shake and now I'm back to square one.
@YayForJam: Wanna terrify a homeless dude? Dress as a grocery store clerk and pretend to scan all the stuff in his shopping cart
@animatedtext: For all the people who doubted me:
You were right
@tsm560: I thought IT was a movie about tech nerds. To me, that's a lot creepier than a dumb clown with a red balloon.