@_Ms_Moneypenny_: I want to surprise my boyfriend by sending him a sexy pic while he's at work, but I can't decide what outfit to put on the cat.
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@Alex_N_Chains: I just felt a weird twitching somewhere inside me. I think it might be my liver waving a white flag.
@sammynickalls: ladies: the day after Halloween, don't forget to buy all the discounted blood capsules to keep in your mouth when men tell you to smile
@AbbyHasIssues: I think I just invented four new yoga poses trying to get a chocolate chip that I dropped under the table.
@MartaEffing: My date thinks he's gonna get me drunk, & then get in my pants. The joke is on him, coz my tolerance is sky high & I'm wearing a skirt.