@The_Gonzi: I want to throw a party with fake alcohol and see how many people act wasted.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@huntigula: I, too, am shocked Ted Cruz has had sex. I just assumed his kids were born when he ate after midnight and got wet like in the movie Gremlins
@JohnLyonTweets: Don't regret past mistakes. All of your decisions, good and bad, led you to where you are today. Disregard this if you are in prison.
@Brianhopecomedy: *presses wheelchair accessible button* *rolls 5 year old in on dolly restrained like Hannibal Lector* "We're here for a haircut."