@NYC_Blonde: I want what any normal girl wants in life... A great job, a loving husband and to be the wallpaper on thousands of iPhones.
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@MarionDowling: BREAKING NEWS: A werewolf has apparently mated with the Loch Ness Monster. Please retweet to raise a Were Ness.
@HehBuddy: I super glue one jar of pickles shut and leave it out at the barbecue then watch the humiliation unfold.
@JonasPolsky: I was about to commit suicide, but then a Nicki Minaj song came on the radio -- so I committed suicide twice.