@NYC_Blonde: I want what any normal girl wants in life... A great job, a loving husband and to be the wallpaper on thousands of iPhones.
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@DanMentos: me: *installs app that vibrates phone whenever I'm owned online* wife: do you hear bees
@professorxavi: To me, God will always be that guy that could've made Pokemon or Star Wars real but instead was all like, "Nah bruh, malaria and AIDS."
@YayForJam: Walk into karate dojo. Bow. Assume made up karate stance. Taser the first guy who runs at you. Bow. Exit karate dojo
@envydatropic: Animals who have bright colors and patterns in the wild are considered dangerous and shouldn't be messed with. *Updates work wardrobe to bright, loud colors and patterns*