@ericsshadow: I wanted my girlfriend to give me some time alone so we got married.
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@eddiesteadyno: at library ME: This book wasn't helpful at all! LIBRARIAN: Why? What's the problem? BIRD: [mockingly] "Why? What's the problem?"
@iwearaonesie: my brother turned 30 this weekend and i'll never forget what mom said when dad told her we're growing up too fast "they're eating dog food"