@ericsshadow: I wanted my girlfriend to give me some time alone so we got married.
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@iwearaonesie: *walks by HR door for 11th time to see if she's not there so I can take some candy off her desk* HR: Do you need something Josh? me: Nope
@Cravin4: Wife text from work on Easter. "Happy Easter" quick reply as joke "I'm going to grind on you so hard" opens text.Was group family text.truth
@wolfpupy: life is a continuous learning experience, so i can spend all my time not paying attention and drawing cartoons on notepaper just like school
@MazMEDEA: Really not sure what's all the fuss about the Queen's #Nazi salute, everyone knows 'Scissors Beat Paper'