@jonnysun: i wanted som fried chicken but i didnt hav any chicken so i fried a egg and now im waitig for it to hatch
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@That_Matt2: You will feel dumb when we find out the guy who headshotted Harambe was from the future trying to prevent Planet of the Apes..
@Donnie_Fairburn: [Police sketch artist job interview] "How am I not qualified?" Your resume is a stick figure and a poorly drawn igloo "It's a cat actually"
@TheAlexNevil: I tried to contact Joan Rivers through my ouija board, and a message came back: "If I wasn't already dead, your outfit would've killed me".
@Sarcasticsapien: Beauty and the Beast is an introvert's worst nightmare. You stay home alone miles from people and then the damn dishes start talking to you.