@jonnysun: i wanted som fried chicken but i didnt have any chicken so i fried an egg adn waited a few years
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@Maddy_ubert: I just love it when my boyfriend comes to visit and brings me presents. He always says stuff like "stop winking and sign for this package"
@T_Bonezzz_: [INFOMERCIAL] "Order now and receive 50% off The Clapper. CLAP ON.. CLAP OFF.. THE CLAPPER" Tyrannosaurus rex: *Sighs... *Changes channel
@psybermonkey: *watches Charlotte's Web* Netflix: you might also enjoy... Babe Peppa Pig Season 1 episode 1 of Black Mirror
@InternetHippo: MATH PROBLEM: If you give half of your apple to a friend, what do you have? ME (through tears): A…a friend