@Lisa_Laughs_: I wanted to hear the pitter-patter of little feet so now my cats wear tap shoes.
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@smithsara79: The fastest land animal is me when I'm upstairs and hear my dog about to throw up in the living room
@3sunzzz: 6yo: What is a solar eclipse? Me: Have you ever been outside in the dark? 6yo: yeah Me: same idea
@longwall26: People to panhandlers: Get a job, you lazy bum People to ducks: Who has free bread for you? Is it me? Yes, it is
@Tormny_Pickeals: *passes thru suburbs* roll up ur window, son. this is a bad neighborhood. this is where ppl who comment on newspaper articles live