@samalmightysam: I wanted to kill myself by drinking 100 beers, but when I finished my second one, I felt much better.
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@buttgh0st: frodo: [doesnt know how to get to mordor, doesnt know how to fight, doesnt know who he should actually trust] i need to do this alone
@dshack8: Taught a parrot to repeatedly say "WHERE ARE YOUR GLOVES?" and now I don't have to talk to my kids until Spring so that's pretty cool.
@Petote: Be a firefighter they said, Rescue kittens & throw them into fire they said, Youre misinformed they said, We're calling the police they said