@carlielyn: I wanted to lose 10 pounds this year. Only 13 to go.
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@Book_Krazy: Me: What were you and daddy just laughing about? 9: You Me: What about me? 9: You won't think its as funny as we do
@Jake_Vig: THEM: What's it called when you think about them all the time? ME: Love. T: What if it's about murdering them all the time? M: Also love.
@djdarrellripley: Her: (Sigh) How did you burn the Thanksgiving Turkey? Me: I followed the directions. 20 minutes a pound at 325 degrees. I weigh 175 pounds!
@KeetPotato: wife: "this is really your idea of an anniversary present?" me: [on the other walkie talkie] "you didn't say over, over"