@carlielyn: I wanted to lose 10 pounds this year. Only 13 to go.
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@ManvAlcohol: What happens in Vegas stays on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, Vine, and medical records.
@MomOfTeen: Not now kids. Mom is racing her rubber duckies in the bathtub and this time I really think Javier is going to win.
@Stexcy: Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse.
@Cidisn: Look, woman, I'll do laundry when I'm out of clean clothes. *puts on skirt* I didn't say whose clothes.