@jake_lach: I warned everyone that I take charades seriously and now three people are crying
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@underchilde: [First Date] Me: "So what do you like to do when you're not working?" Her: *Drifts in and out of consciousness* Me: "Me too!"
@thezachmaginnis: My sister told me to "take the spider out" instead of "kill" it. So we went and had some drinks. Cool guy. Wants to be a lawyer.
@daemonic3: [working in garage] "Hand me a screwdriver, son" A flat one? "No" [mixes vodka and Orange Crush] Here ya go