@InternetHippo: I was 13 the first time I tried probiotics. Some kids were passing a cup of yogurt around at a party. I figured why not? Now I’m in prison.
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@justabloodygame: Batman could have used his wealth to help Gotham's poor and disenfranchised. But no, we really needed another violent leather fetishist.
@UncleDuke1969: [mall] Me: That guy looks SO familiar! Wife: … M: Maybe an actor? Musician? W: … M: I’ll get an autograph! W: He’s our mailman, moron.