@lovemydogduck: I was 3 yrs old when my mom was diagnosed with my brother.
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@LackOfShame: Boss: Just spend the company's money with the same discretion as you would your own. Me: I understand. *bankrupts the company
@Scott_A_Gilmore: *Goes to Czechoslovakia to shop for a car with Automatic Braking System *Czechs for ABS
@Dutch_50: My grocery store keeps rearranging the produce section. If I need to work this hard to find bananas, there better be a damn tropical breeze!
@hammbone84: MY ROOMBA IS SOMEHOW LOOSE OUTDOORS AND I'M TERRIFIED OF THE CONSEQUENCES FOR THE ECOSYSTEM AS IT HAS NO NATURAL PREDATORS.