@Eric_Bader: Isn't it ironic that crocodiles like water and people who wear Crocs are douchbags. Ok, maybe I don't know what ironic means.

@Petote: Just because I am an Italian American doesn't mean my family is in the mob.... It means we used to be.

@WheelTod: Open-heart surgery is much simpler than most people realize. The key is not to get hung up on whether or not the patient survives.

@catcerveny: Me: Dude, back off. You're totally scaring away all the hot guys checking me out at the gym. H: You do realize I'm your husband, right?

@DivorceDiva: I'm a take me or leave me kind of girl. Wait, where ya going?