@mstern68: I was a fantastic parent right up until I had kids of my own.
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@clairecdowns: Guy in USA:(phone) you ready? Guy in Australia: (phone) hell yeah Both:123 *each drop a piece of bread onto ground* Both: EARTH SANDWICH!
@Crunk_Jews: This drunk guy in the mirror thinks he can beat me in a dance off but I totally embarrassed him in front of the whole women's bathroom.