@mstern68: I was a fantastic parent right up until I had kids of my own.
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@lecalabara: Mario: I killed all your turtle troops.Bowser: Turtle what?Mario: All the turtles that work for you.Bowser: What turtles?Mario: Uh oh...
@michel_lesann: “Is there a genius in the house?! It’s an emergency!” *I start to get up from table* *wife discretely stops me* *I silently agree with wife*
@_Justin_Stepien: sometimes I fill up my bathtub with spaghetti sauce and sit in it and pretend I'm a meatball