@juliussharpe: I was at the beach and the lifeguard blew his whistle at me. Dude, I'm 40. I'm not listening to a teenager in a bathing suit.
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@QwertyJones3: The older I get, the more my feet hurt. I guess it's true... time wounds all heels.
@GoldenSpirals: Mom called. She was worried. Thought maybe I moved because I haven't answered her email and she wouldn't know the new address to send it to.
@BruceForce: Guys, I'm officially having sex tonight so please don't disturb me between 9.30 and 9.31